If you’re attending a new guitar class, try starting off with something like, “Hey, have you been to one of these classes before?” Then follow up with, “My name’s Corey, what’s yours?” If you’ve been chatting for a few minutes but you haven’t exchanged names yet, just pause to say “I’m David, by the way. ” She’ll probably share her name, too, or you can ask for it.
Dedicate your efforts to carrying on a fun, comfortable conversation so you don’t lose your cool – or her attention.
Angle your body toward her, keep your phone or other distractions away, and make her see that what she says matters to you. [3] X Research source After your guitar class, you could ask her about her guitar-playing experience and how she liked the instructor. Then as you’re walking towards the door, you could say “So, do you live around here?” or “How long have you been in the city?” to take the conversation to a more personal level. If you’re chatting on social media, start by asking about her recent posts or pictures and branch off from there to more meaningful topics.
While flirting, try to make her laugh with witty banter or a joke. If you decide to be playful and tease her, keep it light. Share a funny observation or a good-natured joke: “It sounded like someone in our class really needs to get their guitar strings tuned up… Was that you?!”[5] X Research source Use playful emojis if you’re chatting on social media to show off your playful side and to clarify the tone of your messages.
After she explains what she does for work, you could say something about your aspirations: “That’s so great that you’re a teacher! I love working with kids, too. I’m actually a Little League Coach for my younger brother’s team. ” Unless she asks you to go on, turn the spotlight back to her with another question like “What grade level do you teach?” or “Do you like baseball?” Avoid interrogating her in a 1-sided conversation; focus on holding a balanced conversation and a comfortable environment in which you can both start opening up.
If you exhibit confidence, it’ll seem as though you’re successful at getting girls’ numbers, which suggests that other girls find you desirable. [8] X Research source It’s totally normal to feel nervous, but if you show signs that you’re anxious or jittery, it might look like you’re not used to talking to girls, or that you’re usually turned down. This might make her worry that there’s something off about you. Calm yourself down by considering how the worst-case scenario really isn’t that bad. The worst thing that can happen is that you ask for her phone number, she declines to give it to you, and then you end the conversation. You’ll survive!
When you reach the point where you think, “I’m having such a great time talking to this girl that I don’t even want to interrupt it by asking for her phone number,” you should ask immediately. If you get her number in the middle of your conversation, you’ll be able to keep chatting and connecting for a little while longer. Don’t head off right after you get her number. She might think you’re in it just to “score” rather than to really connect. [9] X Research source If you feel a lag in the conversation, or she keeps looking around the room, checking her phone, or trying to make eye contact with her friends as an escape, you’ve missed your chance. Wait until your next conversation to improve your chances of getting her attention and her number.
If you ask her out on a date, getting her number just becomes a minor logistical detail instead of a big deal. [10] X Research source If you’ve been messaging on social media, say something like, “Let’s take this offline – I’d love to get your cell number so we can arrange a proper date soon. ” This approach eliminates the uncertainty around your request. She might be reluctant to give you her number if she doesn’t know why you’re asking. Just make sure you follow through and stay true to your word. If you say you’ll arrange a date, text her within 24 hours with the details.
For a less assertive approach, phrase your request like this: “Let me get your number” or “I’d like to get your number. ” Just be sure to follow up with your reason: “. . . so I can ask you out sometime” or “. . . so we can talk more soon. ”
If you know she likes a certain guitarist, you could say, “I just saw this incredible cover of one of their songs on YouTube, I think you would love it! Can I send it to you?” Then pull out your phone and say, “So, what’s your number?”
You could say something like, “555-555-1234. For bad guitar playing and great conversation! -Alex” or “John, your not-so-secret admirer: 555-555-1234. ” Don’t just slip her your note and run; watch her reaction and see if she smiles or laughs. If she does, ask cutely, “Can I have yours, too?” If she looks a little uncertain, play it cool and explain that you’d love to coordinate a date sometime.
To get her number after connecting over social media, explain that you’re interested in swapping numbers to take your conversation out of the app and into the real world. If you present it as a fun thing you could both do, she won’t feel like you’re putting her on the spot. If you don’t like the more assertive approaches, try this out. It’s a less direct way of asking the same question.
This tactic works well in a noisy environment, like a bar or a concert. She won’t be able to mistake your visual cues and you won’t have to strain to hear the numbers as she recites them for you. People are so used to typing their contact details into other people’s phones in many different contexts, so take advantage of this reflex.
Try something like, “It’s James, the suave guitar player you just met. ” Be a little more forward by asking her out on the spot with your first text: “Hey, it’s Peyton, your date for next Friday (?)”
Try something like, “Oh, that’s okay. Well, it was great to chat with you anyway. Hope you have a good night!” If she already has a boyfriend or she’s not interested in dating at the moment feel free to keep things friendly. Offer to add her on your preferred social media platform in the hopes that your paths will cross again. Don’t be discouraged if your plan doesn’t work. The more times you try asking for a girl’s number, the more likely you’ll be to get a positive response.
